talking about it

Trying to get in the habit of talking about my practice again is only gonna work if I… you know, actually talk about it.

Honestly my practice has been fucked for months now. We’ve been wrestling a depressive episode and probably ought to get back into therapy for a little while but finding a therapist feels like so much work. But anyway this isn’t about that.

The relevant part is I dropped, oh, everything. And I’m not just picking it back up but I have to restructure parts of it too.

A big part of why it fell off and I just… didn’t notice, aside from the depression, is that we’ve been in a holding pattern, waiting to figure out what we can do next. Now we’ve started making some decisions.

Now I can do more than just flail in the direction of divination. Because you need outcomes in mind to actually try to manifest outcomes.

So today I had a shitty day, and a lot of pent up energy, and I went outside and called on the local powers I used to call on, and just. Gave it all over to see who’d answer.

Some of the local powers didn’t answer, and some I’ve stayed in the habit of calling even after we moved from their area and I don’t know why. I reached out to Portlandia in particular and I did feel like I got her attention in return.

I’ve been feeling isolated lately and somehow this pushed through some of it. Hopefully I can keep it moving forward.