Jack of Many Trades

Walking Away or Toward

Originally posted: 2023-06-30

So like five years ago I posted that I had just realized the only characters I write with supportive bioparents are antagonists. I rediscovered this thought right before going to visit my parents and it's been in the back of my head all week as I tried to figure out what they see when they look at me.

I still don't know, but I'm pretty confident it's not me.

I think the protagonist thing is because the point of view I instinctively understand is someone who's walking away, not walking toward. I still have a hard time identifying myself as someone who walks toward, who has goals rather than being someone who has gotten past things.

I saw my nephew this week for the first time in years, and the first time since he transitioned. We didn't get to talk as much as I'd have liked, but he let me add him on Discord. I'm so proud of him; I don't think I would have had the balls to come out in high school even if I had the vocabulary for it then.

He reminds me of myself a lot, but it'd be hard for him not to, growing up in the house I grew up in, in one of my childhood bedrooms, and currently going by one of my internet handles. (No, I didn't tell him about the name, but since he has my discord it's theoretically possible for him to end up here. Hello, favorite nephew, if you're reading this, hope it's not too weird!)