Jack of Many Trades

Dragging On

Originally posted: 2020-05-16

I took Thursday off because I had a video doctor's appointment and I couldn't figure out a good way to do that from work on my lunch, considering it's the previously-mentioned chest wall postop follow up. It ended up not actually involving anything that couldn't have been done on a phone call, but oh well. Also I'm coming up on five years post-diagnosis and only need to do follow ups if something seems weird now! And then since I was taking off a Thursday I decided I might as well take off Friday too and resume T shots and try to catch up on stuff around the house. So I did that too, though the "catching up on stuff" isn't going as well as I'd hoped. Does it ever?

I've been chewing on this Captain Awkward post for a few days now. Like the OP, I have spent a lot of time beating myself up for not knowing what I want or even what I enjoy half the time. The timing is excellent, since Venus just went retrograde, and as Austin Coppock said at the beginning of the year, "Venus retrogrades are periods of emotional uncertainty and reconfiguration. Confusions of desire and uncertainty within relationships are common themes."

I keep trying to have a complete feeling about it and failing, probably because I identify so completely with the feeling of not knowing what to care about.