Jack of Many Trades

Nine Down

Originally posted: 2019-09-25

Well I completed the novena last night, proving to myself that I still have the ability to follow through on something, at least for a short period of time. I would call the experiment a success because I do feel several things were shaken look. I think I made some progress decoupling my hangups, and definitely found a way to look at Aslan in a different, more dead authory context, which is exactly what I wanted.

I also was reminded that I have always liked working with ascended mortals, whether they're Catholic saints or my Yaya or Mr Rogers and Carrie Fisher and Anthony Bourdain and... well you get the idea. The idea of this "ancestor" work written with a broad brush has been on the edge of my thoughts since a bit ago when I was pulling the Dead with the Guru in the 40 Servants deck.

On the Equinox I committed to a daily rosary for Hekate for six months, because I wanted to and because the signs for it were positive. Since I've done it before, it still doesn't seem overwhelming.

I'm still waffling on Nano.

If I'm being honest, it's a little disappointing that Novenafest started out so strong and then kind of just... happened? I don't know that I was expecting anything fancy but it started out pretty wild, with the dream and stuff. Sometimes I just want a higher power to come in and tell me what to do, you know?

Which is probably why I don't get that, to be honest. It's what I want, not what I need, and I mean that in the unhealthy way. I want to get my shit together but I end up flailing that I don't know what together means. I'm just frustrated, I guess.