Man, it would be nice if there was a hotline number for people having a crisis of faith, where I could just call and talk it out with some nice person who didn't trigger my ridiculous fear of dominating the conversation. Normally my wife would volunteer, but she's a little busy tonight so I'm all alone.
Well, all alone with my tarot deck, does that count?
I reached for my in-progress cartomancy deck, and then I realized that (a) that deck goes with this path, and so the names and symbols are all going to be for this path; in other words, it's biased, and (b) also I just admitted I already have a deck that uses a totally different set of names good lord how unobservant can I be?
So I hadn't even got out my tarot deck and I was already pretty sure I needed to stop worrying about this. To top that, the only deck I can find is not my regular Archaeon Tarot, which I've been using for the last, oh, seven years or so. No, the deck I find is my Rohrig Tarot.
What you have to understand here is that I've had this deck since I was eighteen. It is, well, bitchy. Sarcastic. I love it to pieces - there was no question I was going to keep it even when I sold most of my decks before we moved - but sweetness and light it ain't. It's best for when you're pretty sure there's an answer you're not wanting to admit to yourself.
What do I need to know? Five of wands reversed. This card is labelled "strive" and, especially reversed, I take it to mean that I'm trying too hard.
(Am I overthinking this? Yes.)
Where should I start? 3 of discs reversed. This card is "work" with the implication of a ridiculous burden. Yes, I am definitely overthinking this and making it harder than it needs to be
Where am I right now? Two of swords, again reversed. I am torn between two choices. Peace had turned into stagnation; it's time to shake things up.
Where am I going? Prince of cups, and reversal. (They're not all facing the same direction, I promise you.) Well, where ever I'm going, I'm doing it blindly and without forethought, apparently. I associate Cups with intuition.)
Where will intuition take me? 10 of swords reversed. Ruin.
Should I do it anyway? The Tower. Reversed.
Should I not do it? The Devil. Reversed.
At this point I checked a second time to make sure the cards were not all facing the same direction.
What's my outcome_?_ The Hermit. Not reversed, shockingly. This is a card I used to get all the time when I was younger. Not as often as the Hanged Man, mind, but pretty common all the same. That's about as good a sign as I'm going to get from this deck. Shit's gonna fall apart, and it'll turn out the way it has to turn out.
(Am I asking you too many questions? Yes. Failure. Thanks.)
Anything I'm missing, interpretation-wise, that jumps out at you guys? Let me know.